The next day I set the ox cart up with all the milk for the day. I took the ox cart to the neighbor’s homes that are my usual customers. I sat with several of the older ladies along the route and talked about general things. What I didn’t sell from the deliveries I took to the market and sat with the monks where I did more talk about general things. I am friends with one monk who swims at the municipal pool, Charlie. He and I got on the topic of things he’d read about in the newspaper, specifically my client Trees Smith. We got to mulling philosophically about the ordeal, our usual mode of conversation.

“The bus has left the port on this one,” I said.
“The boy is lost. The best part is trying to predict, but you can’t, it’s like poker,” Charlie said.
“Yeah, well he’s a pretty good poker player,” I said responding slowly.
“When are you going see the similarities between him and you? You’re as guilty as he is when you sided with his crimes and you don’t even know it,” Charlie said.
“He presented so well, so kind, I admit, I’m up to my ass in cranberries. I know what you’re saying. I was there to see that he was taken care of instead of run over by a system,” I let my hands finish my words for me.
“The way I see it, you’ve been dealt a heavy hand and it’s driving you crazy, Govinda. If you want to live the laws of natural science, do you want to know what I think? Like your cows you’ll have to stand on hooves. Let go of your fear, you know, give your own milk, stand on your own hoof, negotiate with nature and govern your life differently. Instead of letting the great unity of yourself govern you,” Charlie said.
“I know I can be obsessive,” I lamely responded and I wished I could take it back the minute I said it.
“Then pull the ox cart yourself, it’s what you should do. Do the job of an ox for the day and that is when you’ll see the error in your burden just fly away,” Charlie was finished and silent although he stared at me for an answer.

I looked up at the sky engrossed in how beautiful it was and said, “Looks like rain.” I stared down at my shoe and thought that I was not to blame for Trees Smith. It comes with the job, he could never understand that. I work with criminals and some of them re-offend, some don’t. Charlie is right though, it is like poker.